Lessons from Jacob

We are reading through the Bible instead of following a specific curriculum or Bible study. I figure that the kids will experience plenty of “studies” throughout life, but to read and learn directly from God’s Word is a great place to start! We are deep into learning about Jacob and his deceptively shrewd dealings. The boys are incensed and we can’t believe how God just keeps on blessing the socks off this man! At one point the sweetest of sweet 9-year-olds says, “Wouldn’t it be fun if we could just read the Bible all day and find out what happens?!” STOP! choke* sniff* Isn’t this why I am doing this? You know what I'm talking about if you have been called by God to home school, and for no other reason on earth, continue to sacrifice self day by day by day to make a lame attempt to educate your kids to live a life pleasing to the LORD in all things. I imagined that I would still be wrestling them out of bed every morning only to struggle through our devotional time. But, to see a hunger for the WORD of God is more than I could have ever asked for at this point! Wow.

2013 Resolve

We were beginning the wrap up of the last week of our first semester homeschooling. It felt great to have reached some of my goals. I was even glad to have some unchecked boxes, because nobody is perfect, right? Humility can be very motivating. All in all, I think we deserve an “A” for effort in this first season.
However, a profound, personal lesson came in an unexpected way when the news of the Connecticut shootings blind sided me a week before our Christmas break. All of my preparation for a final burst of excitement, celebration and joy in the last week came to a standstill... Suddenly I was paralyzed, grieving with each parent, grandparent, cousin, friend, neighbor, coworker interviewed... I was glued to the “breaking news”... stolen moments compounded upon each other. I was selfishly frustrated that I had to administer tests, help finalize book report editing, and complete a factoring unit. I felt angry and hostile that I had responsibilities. My “mama-craze” continued to spin out of control and I began longing for daytime TV, coffee with friends and morning workouts.... those checked boxes no longer meant a thing! Humility? What?

This battle between my “God Calling” and the “ME factor” got me thinking. Do I have the right to “The Life I Want?” Truth is, my time is not “mine.” My life is not “mine.” Until now, the full impact of this truth had never occurred to me in this way. As I dug deep, I realized that I had not fully exchanged my handwritten story for God’s divine story for my life. I said yes to the big picture, but I was arguing with HIM every step of the way, trying to edit His draft.

Isaiah 43:1 says that God has called us by name-that we belong to Him. In Proverbs 20:24 Solomon tells us that “a person’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can (I) understand (my) own way?” In Matthew 5:47 Jesus reminds us that God is perfect. So, we are HIS, HE knows/directs our path and HE is perfect... Hmmmm....

There may be events that legitimately take my eyes off of the task, but my attitude and commitment can and should remain the same. I can trust a God who is perfect, has a perfect plan and knows the perfect way. I can stop arguing and listen. Ok, here’s to more of HIM and less of me in 2013!

NEW Shoes: JOY and Pain

Sam has needed new shoes for about three months. The biggest problem has been that Sam loves the “fancy” shoes. You know the ones that cost $100+ and are only available in a few sizes for a short time. The pressure... the pressure. So I ask you, what about the fact that he is only 9? What about the fact that his foot is growing 1/2 size every 3 months? What about that fact that these shoes will be worn everywhere from backyard baseball to hiking through fields full of cowslip?
When we decided to take the home-schooling journey, I stopped working 30+ hours a week. The money I made at a part time job and doing graphic design on the side was our “fun” money. I could usually stash enough away for special purchases, summer vacations and anniversary gifts. All of a sudden, I have a more clothes conscious son with a growing interest in being “cool” and no “fun” money. This does not mean NO shoes. This just means NO to those shoes. Dilemma... dilemma... So we have said “no” for three months. There have been several trips to at least four different athletic shoe stores. There have been many tears and frustrated sighs-from both sides. Sam needs a new pair of shoes. Why all the drama? Why the delay? Is one pair of shoes standing between me and my precious child’s happiness?
I have been stalling. Not because I don’t want my boy to have new shoes. Not because I don’t see the need for new shoes. Not at all because I would not love to see his face light up when I said “yes.” I have been stalling because I am bothered by the position of Sam’s heart. You see, Sam has been unwilling to be guided by our (his parents’) limits, or persuaded by our logic. He has stubbornly held his position that he deserves the shoes of his choosing regardless of the effect his choice has on anyone else.
Saturday was the Grand Opening for a new HIBBETT’s sporting goods store in our town. I had promised we could go. (Dread... Here we go again... Another scene, another attempt at reason, more tears and another “bad mom” day.) To my surprise Sam voluntarily picked out two shoes, both within my set limits. With this, I took the opportunity to explain that if he chose the cheaper pair, he could also pick out a new sweatshirt for Christmas. I left it up to him. He met me at the checkout counter with the cheaper pair and a new sweatshirt! As I watched him, his eyes shining, chest puffed up with joy, I felt like I would burst with pride too. The long wait, tears and frustration, and seeing those ugly worn out shoes for three months too long had paid off-BIG TIME!
It reminded me of our first memory verse for the year, Proverbs 10:1, A wise son brings joy to a father’s (and mother’s) heart...
Cultivating a heart of humility, submission, and wisdom takes time. Looking back, three months doesn’t seem so long for such a valuable lesson learned!

Sam showing off his new shoes!

Home-schoolin’ or BUST!

Home-schoolin’ 2012 or BUST!

My husband has always wanted us to home-school our children. I have always said, “Absolutely NOT!” I would need a heart transplant for that to happen. Well, during my oldest son’s 4th grade year at a wonderful private, Catholic school I began to feel the chest pains. As the end of the year rolled around, I was suffering with conviction and knew the decision had already been made. I could go kicking and screaming, or join the party and submit to this “call” on my life. By the middle of summer break I felt confident that God had prepared my heart to home-school our three children, Charlie, 11, Sam, 9, and Lily, 1.5. As irony would have it, by the second and third weeks of September, I began wondering if all of the suffering and submission really meant for us to home-school, or that I just starting to go through “the change?” Over the next months, however, with the support of a great group of home-school moms and LOTS of prayer we have begun to work out the kinks. We actually practice reading, writing and arithmetic every day! Up to this point, I think this is a very HARD job. But, every day I am more and more confident in God’s provision to finish well.

Some of the things that have been huge blessings are: I feel like I am no longer just a drill sergeant, ordering everyone around, but I am an active participant in the kids’ lives every day. We are able to work through problems and share in the excitement of the discovery together. (I am much more excited about math discoveries at this point!) We are studying the Bible together and they can’t get enough of crazy magicians, fiery furnaces, Nebuchadnezzar and all of his shenanigans! I LOVE seeing them so excited about scripture! (This is the BEST part of homeschooling!) We are also catching up on some basic concepts that they both failed to master in school. We always get enough sleep, and we are never in a hurry in the morning. We have been able to plan doctors’ appts, piano lessons and other activities during the day without the busyness of waiting for other kids to start or finish. The boys really miss friends, but have more quality time with them when we do see them since time spent is intentional. I think their relationships are stronger as a result. All in all, I have many more positives than negatives.

As far as the negatives, they are not worth mentioning right now. With God’s grace, I am very content personally. I thought I would be discontent without my busy graphics work and more time to myself. But, so far, the only thing I have HAD to add is time for exercise.

As for the boys’ opinions, they both say that they like the shorter school days and more time to spend with the family, watching Lily's milestones, and free time. I think they enjoy learning more, and are more excited for time with friends and sports. I think they are more grateful in general.

Sam working away in the school room.

 Lily working on learning to read.

 Charlie likes snacking while working!

We covet all prayers offered on our behalf! One day at a time is my new motto!