Live FREE

Well, it has been a whirlwind of a summer-pool visits, canning homegrown goodness, VBS, Boy Scout camp, Church camp, and the juggling of several professional hats. All this adds up to one exhausted Mama who is ready to go on vacation! But, OH! School starts THIS WEEK! Where did the time go? And, was it wasted or savored? 

Tonight we celebrated the ending of one of our more exciting summer activities, our church community’s version of the reality series, “The Amazing Race.” The theme was “Pitch Black” based on Hebrews 11:1 and alluding to the fact that as Christians we walk in faith through unknown times but can ALWAYS TRUST God to KNOW and DIRECT US even though we cannot see HIM!

As we sat in the Church gym and watched the replay video that condensed 8-3 hour events into 20 minutes of loud Christian music, crazy activity and close up smiling faces. (BTW Faces dripping wet, covered in whipped cream, stuffed with marshmallows, or laughing out loud.) I thought back to my Sunday school lesson this morning and realized just how relevant (and valuable) this experience was for me and my children.

In I Samuel 8, the people of Israel express discontent with Samuel as their Judge. They demand that they be allowed to have a king, LIKE ALL OTHER NATIONS. God reminds Samuel that by expressing unhappiness with Samuel, the people are actually expressing unhappiness with God’s own decision. Samuel explains to the people that a king would only subdue and enslave the people of Israel, but they are persistent and God advises Samuel to go ahead and listen to the request. God chooses Saul to be the first King over Israel.

OK, WAIT A MINUTE! 
Does this sound even a little bit familiar to any other parent out there? How many times in the last week have I heard my children say, “But Mom, everyone else can watch that movie,” or “Everyone else can play that game,” or “Everyone else can eat that food! Why can’t we?”

So, what does this have to do with “The Amazing Race?”

Well, my most “discontented” son was hesitant about participating in “The Amazing Race.” I’m not sure if it was the anticipation of the unexpected or the fact that he would rather be playing video games that made him oppositional, but it took some poking and prodding to persuade him to go.

And, he absolutely had more fun than either of us hoped! 

By creating an opportunity for children to engage without the pressure of
RATINGS,
CRAVINGS
or HYPE,
we showed our kids that they can enjoying having fun within set limits! For these savored moments, they were unified, unafraid to be authentic, free to laugh along with
EVERYONE ELSE!
They experienced a sense of belonging and enjoyed working towards a goal that wasn’t all about themselves. The challenges of this game were NEVER going to lead them to sin or put them in a place of subjugation or enslavement, as so many temptations outside of our parenting boxes do.
GOOD. 
CLEAN. 
FUN.
.... GREAT CONCEPT!

As a parent I am grateful for this experience. All of the work and preparation that went into planning these events are nothing compared to the practical AND spiritual lessons learned along the way.
I believe God is super proud of our Church family for coming together to pull this off. I am super blessed to know God was in it every step of the way!

I am also encouraged to find more GOOD. CLEAN. FUN. activities that will engage and challenge my kids without tempting them to push the limits that I, and God, have set for them.
I want them to live FREE!

From Peace to Righteousness With Love!

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:17-18 NIV

It has taken me a full 43 years, and counting, to really grasp the meaning of the words of James. But lately  I realize that the less I try to dominate a situation, the more control I have over the situation, even in parenting!

So, let's back up for a minute. When I married in 1998, I wasn’t a “yeller.” In fact, yelling made me quite anxious. (It disrupted my natural “LIBRA” need for balance.) I remember a mildly heated argument between my father and aunt when I was about eleven years old that sent my brother and me into hiding under the bed. BUT, having kids, especially one particularly high maintenance child, changed all that. I learned quickly that confronting a situation head-on was the only was to “nip it in the bud,” as Barney Fife would say! Sad to say I absolutely failed in my delivery for many of the last 13 years! As God has sown seeds of truth, faith, and revelation into my life, I have slowly, but surely begun to approach conflict with a more gentle spirit. Some of this comes from relaxing and letting my natural personality “live,” some is the result of some amazing mentoring and role models God has put in my life, and finally filling up with daily TRUTH (The Words of God).

Here are some observations from the past 43 years of life regarding relationships and parenting...

FIRST...

You must remember that maintaining/restoring relationship with your child is the most important aspect of any situation... timetables, emotions, expectations, aside. Gary Black advised me of this over 15 years ago, and I think about it every day. You must realize this to fully grasp what James is saying in 3:17-18.

NEXT...

Honesty is the best policy. Always pursue a situation with complete, authenticity. Sometimes this is uncomfortable or awkward, but always works in building trust and respect. Your children see through the mask, if you are wearing one!

THIRD...

Admit when you are wrong! This is the “submissive” part of James 3:17 in action.

FOURTH...

Communicate, communicate, communicate. If you are sharing, you are allowing your children to understand your heart and motivation. Even if the subject seems a little “heady” say it anyway. They will understand eventually, and be wiser and grateful for it!

FINALLY...

Never forget that or our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12). Guess what? You and your children are on the same side! When I realized this, it was much easier for me to hug my child and move forward in love!

I am still on this journey and make mistakes every day. But most days my faith is greater, my will is weaker and HE is stronger!

Peace out!

LIVIN’ THE DREAM

Life in the house has been crazy...
Laundry sits waiting to be folded and put away, dishes climb higher in the sink, pencils, paper, books, Barbies, shoes- shoes, muddy and wet stacked by the door... I am weary with retracing my steps as I tidy and vaccuum, wash and fuss over little things because they seem easier to tackle than the big stuff. Remembering the horrid long division...  more adverbs and adjectives... the moans and groans of preteen boys who would rather be out in the dirt...

There are days when a girl just needs to walk away and breathe...

So, when most families are sunning themselves on a lonesome beach somewhere far away or hiking breathtaking views over Spring Break, I went back to work for three days!

And... I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!

I awoke early, ready before any other head rose off a pillow.. before the fussing and arguments of the morning duties. I kissed the sleepy heads with whispers of love and drove off with my Arbonne shake and NPR on the radio...

ALONE IN MY VAN.

ALONE.

Into the sunrise for a full 30 minutes before I arrived to my OWN cubicle, with other ADULTS to tackle ALL adult problems for just ONE day at a time for THREE WHOLE DAYS!! I sat at my desk, laughed with coworkers, talked about my beautiful children, strategized about pasta and marveled over new creative applications I had never imagined...

AND made my own money for THREE. WHOLE. DAYS. AND, it felt great!!
 
Today as I am back in my reality, as I fuss through the morning duties and argue about appropriate clothing for the weather forecast, I feel blessed beyond measure. To come home to arms open wide, a whiney little girl who missed her Mamma and can’t get enough cuddle time, boys grown taller in a week, unending questions about tornadoes, splinters, puppies and tall tales of monsters in the woods- this is HEAVEN. Three days away was great, but nothing compares to this! God, in all his sovereignty chose me for this life, these children, this husband, and this day!

I didn’t know what the dream was,

but I know I AM LIVIN’ IT!