Deep Roots

A life lesson that will benefit my children!

It is hard to keep on topic. Sometimes homeschooling gets boring, like in the summer when nothing is really going on and LIFE takes the front seat. So, I will drift today into more worldly happenings.

So, I’ve been looking at my younger brothers photos of him and his latest squeeze. As I stare at this hip and gorgeous pair, I am getting this strange feeling that I am becoming the out-of-touch big sister... when did I become so conservative? (Don’t get me wrong, nothing wrong with conservative, but I used to have a little fun with my style!) Sitting here thinking about it, I realize that I must have let go when I started avoiding mall visits for quick runs to Walmart. I guess I never really liked shopping, so now that I really don’t have time, I just don’t do it. When I go to any store I head straight for the Children’s Clothes and/or Home & Garden departments.

Looking back, these things that defined me in my past like wearing the latest trends, listening to the best new music, or spending Friday nights with cool people made me feel like I belonged to something.... hmmmm, loose roots. As I have grown up, sought the LORD and built my own family, I suppose that I don’t need these things to feel connected anymore. I have grown deeper roots, connected to the ONE constant, the ONE who will NEVER change, NEVER expect more than I can give, NEVER leave. Though I had a lot of fun finding the perfect hand bag and best fitting jeans, I can honestly say that my sense of security, joy and hope are much more real to me now than any other time in my life.

After observing my beautiful brother, I have a renewed desire to be a little bit more concerned with style, but this no longer defines me and no longer links me to a loose sense of joy, hope or belonging!

2 Corinthians 3:17

Written earlier this year.

The learning never stops, even when the blog does.

Wow! It’s been 3 months!
I intended to map my homeschooling journey every month, but here it is the day before June begins and it has been three months since my last post. This is a testament to just how crazy life is when homeschooling, running kids to this practice and that event, Church activities, and basically living the life of a single mom, since the best husband in the world is working all the time to provide for all of our “want thats.”
So, we just finished up our last week of the first year of our homeschooling journey! Yippee! Of course the boys are thrilled that I am not coming up the stairs at 8am singing “Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory...”, but I am super excited that, by the grace of God-even though we didn’t finish every workbook page, or read to the very end of “Old World History” -both boys are ready to move on to the next level! I actually think that our decision to home-school has made them enjoy reading and learning more. I am happy to have an extra hour of quiet in the morning to sip tea and read my increasing list of favorite blog posts!

 (Isn’t she cute? I just had to add this in!)

I love me a home-school convention!
Over the last several months I found the time to go to the Great Home-school Convention in Cincinnati-without children. (Yes, my sweet Charles took off two days of work to stay home with “mama spoiled” Lily!) While there, I attended some amazing workshops lead by speakers like Sean McDowell, John Stonestreet, and Scott Klusendorf, and was able to get face to face with curriculum writers and publishers to discuss learning styles and techniques, the pros and cons of unit studies vs classical curriculum and even the psychology of boys! I spent a great deal of time watching the families with eight and ten children, and becoming more and more thankful at just how peaceful my life really is. (This hallucination lasted until I walked in my front door the next day!) The culmination of my two days of reverie is that we are trying something new next year. In fact, I already received it in the mail and seeing it all laid out even has my most sullen student smiling and looking forward to next semester! We have decided to use the Sonlight curriculum. And, even though many former Sonlight moms have told me that they became absolutely tongue-tied and sick of reading another word, the actor/storyteller in me is excited to show off a bit each day for my boys-and girl! (We purchased the preschool level too.) You see, my theory is that we adore movie stars because they entertain us and make us “feel.” So, here we go! Through a system of using stories to learn history, geography, literature, vocabulary and become a better listener, reader and thinker, Mama will be the adored star! SICK, right? -But you will try anything to hold on just one more day to a couple of preteen boys with everything but Mama on their minds! Anyway, I have great hopes that this new style will increase all of our enjoyment for school time!

Summer Lovin’ & Learnin’
Our journey of learning doesn’t stop in the summer, even though we put away the curriculum and workbooks. Until the new semester starts, we are reading aloud “Peter Pan,” and “The Magician’s Nephew.” I will be reading “A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet” by Sophie Hudson and trying to finish “Les Miserables.” The boys are both on a “Hardy Boys” kick and will be working through the most enticing titles in that series! Lily just picks board books at random from the lowest library shelves-she LOVES to read. We read whatever she picks out several times over until we pick new ones next week! We will visit a few museums on really hot days, go to the zoo at least once and attend a few sporting events. I do believe in a little R&R and we will all be sufficiently rested to start a new semester in the fall.

Promises. Oh, Sweet Promises.
Last week, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed [moved, affected, maybe a bit beaten] with it all and noticed beautiful rainbow. No! As we looked closer it was a double rainbow! We even pulled off the road to record the memory, because in that moment I could see clearly God’s divine hand weaving together the promises that HE made to me years ago when he gifted us with our first baby boy! Jeremiah 29:11 came to mind, “I know the promises I have for you, says the LORD. They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

GRACE: No Strings Attached

I spent the early morning setting out Valentines and special treats. My heart beat fluttered with anticipation to share in our children’s excitement of opening love letters from Mom and Dad and discovering sweet treats! 


What makes this day different than any other day? 
 (Our children receive hugs & kisses, notes of praise and sweet treats often.)

Unmerited favor-love without any strings attached-makes it different. Words to make the heart sing and sweets to make the mouth water-without condition.  “Mmmm....,” the whole body responds.

Unmerited favor which is GRACE.

In this moment when we all feel equal and included. Each one a part of the whole with value and purpose. See, in our sin we naturally favor those who please us most. As a mother, I am so tuned into the training of our children that I often lose myself to admonishing guidance and forget to let the liberating love flow. These “Valentine moments” build confidence and security into our children. They are reassured of their place in the family and in our hearts.

The brightness of their eyes and the laughter of their mouths is a joyful reminder of exactly how it feels to be touched by the Grace of God-His unmerited favor liberally poured out to us through the death and resurrection of Christ. 

This Grace includes,
gives purpose,
and builds confidence.

This Grace never has strings attached! 

A More Beloved Son

While writing in my journal today, I described my 11 year old son as creative, imaginative, thoughtful, impulsive, pursuasive, tenacious, eager, independent, artistice, “out of the box,” and brilliant! 

When Charlie was two years old he would lay on the kitchen floor banging his head on the tile throwing a kind of temper tantrum. There was usually no warning to these outbursts and it usually took physically restraining him for some time to calm him down. We had to constantly redirect his gaze to make him look us in the eye when we spoke to him. He impulsively punched others, threw things, demanded his way, hyper-focused on tasks he enjoyed, but he could not follow directions without being distracted. He never used complete sentences even though he talked nonstop. Granny said it was the “terrible twos,” that every child is different and things would change when he started school. Even the pediatrician saw no red flags and sent me home temporarily relieved. I clung to this theory until three years old passed and he started preschool. My boy couldn’t control himself from kicking the boy under the seat next to him or pulling the braids of the girl in front of him? He didn’t read social cues. For instance, when someone was upset, he couldn’t sense their distress and would continue tossing balloons at them or shouting in their ear. He climbed on the desks, opened cabinets and drawers during “seat work time,” and bit the little girl next to him. I was mortified and panick-stricken. We had tried every means of discipline, child-training tools and prayer possible. Needless to say, in the beginning Charlie was not easy to parent.

We began consulting professionals, asking questions and finding answers. Ultimately Charlie was diagnosed with Expressive Language Disorder and ADHD. I began to notice common traits of Asperger’s, which is a mild form of autism, and runs in my family. Despite these things, he tested highly intelligent, creative and sympathetic. With this information I began gathering information about schools in the area. At the time I did not consider homeschooling as an option. I knew a few families who home-schooled their children and it seemed too daunting a task with a child who already pushed me to the limits of my ability. We chose to enroll Charlie in a local Montessori program where he seemed to thrive and grow through first grade when he promoted to the traditional classroom environment. Academically, Charlie excelled. He seemed to struggle relating to his peers and, in hind sight, was often over-stimulated by the typical classroom routine. However, to me, everything seemed manageable and “typical.” Because most children with ADHD are two to four years more socially immature than their peers, the looming middle school years began to weigh on my mind. So, I started to consider the home-schooling option. As we began to seek God and pray about our decision, we gained clarity and insight for the situation and decided that it was the right choice for our family and our children.

Five months into this journey, Charlie’s progress is simply miraculous! I didn’t actually have any specific expectations other than to hold off the inevitable. But, as I sit here writing, I realize God has been at work! First, we are filling in the gaps in his education thus far, discovering his interests and strengths, and tailoring his education so that learning is no longer a chore, but a discovery. Math, History, Spelling, Language, and Science are all so easy for him, I am amazed! He would rather learn by experiment rather than read a book, but he is developing a love for gathering information through reading. Weekly time with our Church and Coop Groups is helping refine his social skills in an intentional, limited environment that sets him up for success rather than failure. He is making friends and enjoying people his own age as never before. Recently he had a disagreement with another boy in class. I sent them to the back of the room to discuss and resolve the issue. To my surprise-I just knew I was going to have to break up a fight- I looked over to see them shaking hands and smiling at each other. They worked it out on their own! Charlie has matured in many unexpected ways such as his willingness to participate in family activities, care for his little sister and his attitude toward his brother. The best part is that I am learning to love my son for all of his eccentricities! I have more time to look at the latest LEGO masterpiece, listen to his imaginative ramblings-and appreciate their origins, and more time to help correct wrong thinking and habits. The benefits to the relationship by staying home and committting my present to his future have so far been priceless and worth every sacrificed solitary moment!

Lessons from Jacob

We are reading through the Bible instead of following a specific curriculum or Bible study. I figure that the kids will experience plenty of “studies” throughout life, but to read and learn directly from God’s Word is a great place to start! We are deep into learning about Jacob and his deceptively shrewd dealings. The boys are incensed and we can’t believe how God just keeps on blessing the socks off this man! At one point the sweetest of sweet 9-year-olds says, “Wouldn’t it be fun if we could just read the Bible all day and find out what happens?!” STOP! choke* sniff* Isn’t this why I am doing this? You know what I'm talking about if you have been called by God to home school, and for no other reason on earth, continue to sacrifice self day by day by day to make a lame attempt to educate your kids to live a life pleasing to the LORD in all things. I imagined that I would still be wrestling them out of bed every morning only to struggle through our devotional time. But, to see a hunger for the WORD of God is more than I could have ever asked for at this point! Wow.

2013 Resolve

We were beginning the wrap up of the last week of our first semester homeschooling. It felt great to have reached some of my goals. I was even glad to have some unchecked boxes, because nobody is perfect, right? Humility can be very motivating. All in all, I think we deserve an “A” for effort in this first season.
However, a profound, personal lesson came in an unexpected way when the news of the Connecticut shootings blind sided me a week before our Christmas break. All of my preparation for a final burst of excitement, celebration and joy in the last week came to a standstill... Suddenly I was paralyzed, grieving with each parent, grandparent, cousin, friend, neighbor, coworker interviewed... I was glued to the “breaking news”... stolen moments compounded upon each other. I was selfishly frustrated that I had to administer tests, help finalize book report editing, and complete a factoring unit. I felt angry and hostile that I had responsibilities. My “mama-craze” continued to spin out of control and I began longing for daytime TV, coffee with friends and morning workouts.... those checked boxes no longer meant a thing! Humility? What?

This battle between my “God Calling” and the “ME factor” got me thinking. Do I have the right to “The Life I Want?” Truth is, my time is not “mine.” My life is not “mine.” Until now, the full impact of this truth had never occurred to me in this way. As I dug deep, I realized that I had not fully exchanged my handwritten story for God’s divine story for my life. I said yes to the big picture, but I was arguing with HIM every step of the way, trying to edit His draft.

Isaiah 43:1 says that God has called us by name-that we belong to Him. In Proverbs 20:24 Solomon tells us that “a person’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can (I) understand (my) own way?” In Matthew 5:47 Jesus reminds us that God is perfect. So, we are HIS, HE knows/directs our path and HE is perfect... Hmmmm....

There may be events that legitimately take my eyes off of the task, but my attitude and commitment can and should remain the same. I can trust a God who is perfect, has a perfect plan and knows the perfect way. I can stop arguing and listen. Ok, here’s to more of HIM and less of me in 2013!